The political space in India seems to be as large as the country itself. We have parties advocating communism to capitalism, Hindutva to Islam, though not admitting the same openly as the constitution prohibits that. We have the Manuvadi parties, the Dalit parties, parties of the OBCs, those proposing atheism, and so on. Into this cacophony, a new entrant has thrown his hat into the ring! All beware, the incorruptible, the squeaky clean, unmarried, physically fit superhero is here—step aside all, here is the man for whom the country has been waiting since independence. The messiah has finally arrived on the scene: Ram Kishan Yadav, aka Baba Ramdev, who keeps churning his abdominal muscles on the stage, thumbs his nose at people, and collects millions in the name of yoga. If one watches his TV program, one can see him jumping about, performing contortions, panting for breath, and as soon as he gets it back, uttering platitudes about everything under the sun, moon, and stars! He has simplistic solutions for all problems—want to solve the poverty problem? Bring the money stashed in Swiss banks. Homosexuality is a disease, and the cure for that is yoga. It’s not one or two things that he talks about, but as previously said, he has an encyclopedic knowledge about all matters. He is a textbook of medicine, surgery, nutrition, physical exercise, psychiatry, and whatever one may need. You have a problem? Do Kapalbhati and Pranayama. Talk about the good old days, and he will lecture about the skeleton of a 12-foot-tall person discovered at an undisclosed location and how the good food and clean air in those days made them grow like that—to hell with medical evidence that even 7-foot-tall people find it difficult, as the human body has its biological and mechanical limitations.

Image courtesy wikipedia

It has been a long way indeed for a contortionist to develop into a guru with solutions for all the problems facing us. He wants to start with India and make it the healthiest nation in the world. Then he wants to go out and do the same to the rest of the world! When he predicted several years ago that within a few years there would be a cure for AIDS by a combination of Ayurveda and yoga, he got into trouble with the Health Minister of the Central Government, who asked him to prove that or shut up, as such talk would cause problems for the AIDS prevention campaign. He then gave long-winded explanations about what he actually said and how he had been misquoted. In his TV shows, he has patients barging in with so-called “medical reports” which he reads out in a halting manner, misspelling many of the medical terminologies. It runs like this—a middle-aged lady goes to the stage with a report which he reads out and says, “Well, well, what did the doctors say about this?” She answers, “Baba, they told me I would die in six months.” Another dose of sarcasm: “Then you had to die.” She: “No Baba, I did not. I started doing yoga and now I am fine.” He: “So, this is modern medicine for you, in the grip of the multinationals!” Then another round of contortions, heavy breathing, devotional songs, etc. These are called Yog Shibirs. On his stage, we have a few younger people doing the very same poses which he asks people to do. He has one more collaborator who goes to gardens, fields, or anywhere that has greenery, pulls out a variety of leaves from all and sundry plants, and then starts lecturing about them, giving their botanical names and advice on what they can heal and/or prevent. Of course, any sort of evidence or results of clinical trials are not needed. One has to take his word for that. The only proof that is offered is that our ancient texts say that. When the swine flu epidemic hit the world, he had a solution for it—boil a particular root in water, drink its extract, and that would prevent it. The prices for that root went through the roof, and no one was willing to listen to what we said—that it was only like any other type of seasonal flu and would pass off. Now, the statistics have vindicated our stand. Of course, he can claim that it was his combination of yoga and Ayurveda which saved India.

Well, what about his medicines? People had to sign an undertaking that they knew that they were not approved, and had to absolve him of any liability for any ill effects arising from their use! He manufactures them at facilities which employ sweatshop labor. When they went on strike demanding fair wages, he set his goons upon them. When the trade unions of the Left parties supported them and also exposed the formulae of some of his concoctions, he made his usual allegation that it was a tool of the multinationals. They were adding human bones to some of them after powdering them—he defended that, saying that it was permitted in Ayurveda. There are many such controversies about his panaceas, which are very, very expensive. The same allegation of exploitation that he makes against the multinationals is equally applicable to him, if not more! At least their products are based on evidence and clinical trials, while his concoctions are marketed on his word alone and the claim that it is in ancient texts.

His hypocrisy needs to be pointed out here. On his stages with a captive audience, he launches into tirades against “corrupt” politicians. But nothing prevents him from hobnobbing with them, traveling with them in state helicopters, and utilizing millions of rupees given as “grants for research.” He conveniently forgets that this money comes from the pockets of the taxpayers—300 million of them being malnourished, poverty-stricken, and having naturally flat stomachs caused by years of malnutrition, and hence are not impressed by his contortions on stage. Well, who is? If one looks at the audiences at his sessions, for which one has to pay huge donations—despite his talk of egalitarianism, the fat cats who pay heftier “donations” are located close to the dais and are given more elbow room to carry out their maneuvers. The others have to lump it out at locations far away and do their contortions in cramped conditions. That is equality for you. As George Orwell said, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” That is applicable to his disciples too. But for the overweight middle class with their sagging bellies, Ram Kishan Yadav is fitness personified. They want an easy solution for their problems—they would like to have a toned body, full hair on their balding pates, and in short, solutions for all their problems without working for it, and that too in a few months! His yoga classes look like the easy solution, and that is why we see the tension-ridden middle classes flocking there. Some exercise may work for some of them, and they would shout that from the rooftops. For those for whom it does not, who constitute the larger group, they will be silent like they are supposed to be—the silent majority! Again, he is very clever when offering advice to patients with serious problems; if they have diseases like cancer, they will be told to continue their therapy and also consume his concoctions and do things like Pranayama, etc. If they are cured, he can take the credit—if not, the money-grabbing multinationals and the doctors can be blamed! In his much-publicized “public” debates with some of the branches of the Indian Medical Association, he cleverly wriggles out of tight situations by saying “you do your job and I will do mine” sort of clichés. I can recall some instances, like the Indian Medical Association branch of Goa “collaborating” with him and having themselves photographed at his feet. When the national secretary of FIRA queried the office bearers as to why they were seen in such a position with a person who is opposed to them—the lame excuse was that they were just joining him for his anti-tobacco campaign!

Why does this colorful personality want to enter politics—or rather the dirty world of politics, as he says? It is the desire for power on one hand, and for safeguarding his empire on the other. Huge grants have been taken for establishing “research institutes,” and nothing useful has come out of them so far. Under the Right to Information Act, anyone can ask for the details of this funding and also ask for the results. Once these scandals come out, there is going to be trouble. Not all of India consists of fat middle-class people who are his constituency! He wants to get at others too, and for that he has to have a larger network. Another factor is the large amount of black money that he must have amassed marketing his useless concoctions. Despite all his claims to egalitarianism, they are really expensive—more than the concoctions of the multinationals whom he derides, but at least the latter do work! He has forayed abroad and purchased his own island, from where he hopes to market these without the need to satisfy regulatory bodies about their effectiveness. One more reason is that he wants to be the C-team of the Hindutva gang. The A-team—the right-wing Bharatiya Janata Party—is finding that its growth has been stagnant; the rabid right-wingers like the Shiv Sena, the B-team, are divided and losing their appeal. There is a need for one more team with more appeal to a different constituency, and that is what Ramdev is trying to do! While decrying all politicians as corrupt, he does not mind sharing the stage with the likes of Advani and co. While mocking the Congress, he is not averse to taking grants from the states ruled by that party. He feels that he has an appeal to his community—though he claims to be an ascetic with no caste, he is a Yadav, a dominant caste in many areas of the cow belt. Again, the saffron robes and the halo of being a renunciate may influence the electorate into voting for his candidates, and he hopes to win seats and worm his way into ruling combinations. No sir, he does not want power; he wants to reform the nation! He will not contest elections, but will put up honest, sincere, dedicated candidates who will do the task of nation-building. In other words, he wants to be a remote control and play the kingmaker!

Coming to the great personality himself, one wonders why the cure-all yoga and the Ayurvedic concoctions which he peddles are not able to cure his ever-present facial tic? What yogic quality makes him dye his hair and beard? The vanity of the renunciate? Is he the Hindu version of Benny Hinn? These questions will be answered soon when he enters electoral politics, which will need contortions of a different kind and an audience which is not captive.